We are living in a competitive world. Whether we are in an educational institution or we are working in an organization or working in a company or doing our own business, we always meet with competition. Healthy competition is good and it brings out our resourcefulness and it makes us to think out of the box and become creative in the work we do. But at the same time we know that we have got good grades in the schools and colleges but not able to get a decent job in life. We realize that we have so many degrees and talents and experience in different fields, but we are not able to be successful in life. We have the feeling of dejection and disappointment with the work we do and the job assigned to us.
Formerly the importance was given to IQ (Intelligence Quiescent) but today more and more people give importance to EQ (Emotional Quiescent). We have not learnt sufficiently to handle our emotions. Hence there is a feeling of disappointment and discouragement in our life and we are not able to be successful in life.
According to Daniel Colman what makes a person successful is not his intelligence but his way of handling his emotions. There are four important areas we need to concentrate in handling our emotions.
The first is Self awareness. One should know oneself, one’s strength and weakness, talents and limitations. Today we are more curious about others. We spend more time, to know about others and their weaknesses. But we should spend more time to know ourselves. The self-awareness makes us to set realistic goals before us and strive forward towards them.
The Second is Self Discipline. A disciplined person is able to control his desires and feelings. We must learn to respond to situation rather react to it. For example if a servant breaks a plate inadvertently we can become angry and beat the servant. By beating the servant we may not be able to bring back the plate which was broken but we should rather respond to the situation by giving instruction to the servant how to handle the plates carefully so that it may not happen again.
A person who suffers from diabetes must know what to eat and what to avoid when he is invited for a dinner. He cannot satisfy his desire by eating whatever is placed. Hence the person who is able to control his feeling and desires can be a successful person.
The third one is Social Skills. The person who has social skills respect others and their views. They understand the feelings of others and adjust themselves accordingly. They will have a nack to handle different situations with ease. They will be sensitive to the needs of others and will have concern for the larger society. They enter into relationship with everyone and keep the relationship continually.
The fourth one is Motivation. Those who have motivation they want to achieve something in life. They take initiative without any compulsion or advice. They plan well ahead and work hard to achieve the goal. They know how to use the time properly and how to get the cooperation of others to achieve this target.
Let us learn to handle our desires and emotions properly and be successful and lead a happy life.
Most Rev. Dr. M. Devadass Ambrose
Bishop of Thanjavur